Notes with the Akatsuki
by OfFiCiAl.TwIlIgHtEr
Summary: Tobi can't talk, so he makes the rest of the Akatsuki talk to him IN NOTE FORM! OOCness, randomness, and Hidanswearstoomuchness. Oh, and Itachi might also get drunk in later chapters. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Yeah. I was somewhere (forgot where) and I got really bored and I had paper and a pencil so after a while my mind stated wandering and I was thinking about the Note Passing with the Cullens or whichever you like best, and I thought it would be funny to do that with the Akatsuki.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything- characters, original story, Akatsuki. Stands to show that I don't anything I write about.

**Warning: **Some serious OOC-ness, Sasori is still alive, Deidara & Tobi seem like they're on crack (sort of), and Itachi & Kakuzu (possibly Konan and Zetsu too) get drunk. Once... or 5 times….

xXxXxXx

-Somewhere in the Akatsuki HQ after sealing one of the bijuu-

Deidara- normal; _Tobi- italics_; **Hidan- bold**; _**Kisame- bold, italics**_; Itachi- underlined; _Zetsu- underlined, italics_

_Sempai!_

_Sempai!!!_

_SEMPAI!!!_

Wtf, Tobi?

_Well... you weren't responding to my note._

And why are we writing on a note in the first place?

_Because Leader-sama told me to be quiet, but I had something really important to tell you!_

And what is this really important thing you have to tell me?

_Uh…I forgot?_

DOBE! You mean you're wasting all my precious time- when you should be telling me something important- on a NOTE?!

_Uh… yes?_

I'm leaving.

_NO SEMPAI! WAIT!_

Why should I? Go waste someone else's time.

-Deidara leaves, just as Itachi, Kisame, and Hidan walk into the room to watch some mind-numbing TV-

_Hi sempais!!!_

**Uh… Tobi. I've got something I really wanna tell you.**

_Yes?_

**SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP!!!**

_AACK! SEMPAI! YOU'VE RUINED A PIECE OF PAPER WITH YOUR BAD WORDS!_

**Like I give a damn.**

_AACK! YOU DID IT AGAIN!_

_**Tobi-san, you'll never win against Hidan. Just give it up before it's too late.**_

**Damn strait. No way you'll win against me.**

_-sniffles- -sadness- -depressedness-_

Look at what you guys did to it. I'm not taking responsibility for it.

**Me neither. Kisame?**

_**No. Way. In. Hell.**_

**Fine. Guess it's time to get Zetsu. Um…?**

Deidara did it.

**THAT'S PERFECT!**

_**I second the act.**_

Okay. Then we agree that none here shall ever speak of this moment again, we shall blame Deidara for Tobi's… uh… depression and WHY THEY HELL ARE WE STILL COMMUNICATING IN NOTES?!

**I don't know…. Maybe because they're addicting and Tobi started it?**

_**Yeah, let's go with what Hidan said.**_

Okay…? Well then, let's ask Tobi why he started the note passing.

_**Whatever.**_

**Fine.**

**Hey, Tobi? Why did you start passing notes?**

-stops sniffling and looks really happy when he sees the note-_ Because, Hidan-sempai, passing notes is fun!_

_**Yes, but we want to know WHY. As in what made you think of a note and why not just talk?**_

_Well, Leader-sama told me to be quiet, but I had something really important to tell Deidara sempai, but then I forgot, so he left._

-everyone in the room just looked at the masked nin like he solved then most complicated problem on the planet, then started acting like a duck.-

_**Um… ok, Tobi-san. Did you take your meds this morning?**_

-makes a face, that everyone can see, even though he is wearing a mask- _No. those things taste funny. Besides, I really don't see any point in taking them. All they do is make the world less fun._

_**Yes, Tobi-san, but it pretty much makes life living hell for the rest of us when you don't take your meds.**_

_-cue sniffles and watery eye- But- but- but- don't you love me?_

**Not really. And if you've somehow managed to convince yourself otherwise, time for a wakeup call to reality.**

_**That's not very nice, Hidan-san.**_

**Like I give a shit.**

Just shut up, all of you. Right now. Before I kill you.

**Good morning to you too, Itachi.**

_**Tobi, what did you do with those happy pills you got to sabotage Orochimaru with?**_

_Well, Itachi wasn't being very happy this morning, so I maybe, kinda switched them with Itachi's eye pills…?_

Mangekyou Sharingan!

_-the horrors- AACk! No! Please, Itachi-sempai!_

_Hey, Tobi, what's wrong?_

_Well… first Deidara-sempai said my note passing was a waste of his time, then called me a dobe, then walked off. Then, Hidan-sempai told me to shut up, with a few other words I'm not allowed to repeat, forever ruined this previously good piece of paper, then he and Kisame-sempai made it even worse and I lost an argument to Hidan-sempai_

_What was this argument about?_

_His swearing…._

_Yeah. Note of advice- never try to get in an argument with Hidan about his swearing. It's almost against the laws of nature for him to lose._

_Oh. Okay then. And then he started swearing again and I got all-_

-insert loud crashes and bangs as Tobi gets tackled by Kisame and Hidan, while Itachi readies his Sharingan-

_AACK!!! Why did you tackle me?!_

**Because it was a matter of life or death. And personally, I'd rather not test my immortality against Zetsu's cannibalism.**

You know, I still really want to know why we're still writing notes instead of talking. I mean really, Leader-sama only commanded Tobi not to talk, not the rest of us. So, we should use these moments of quiet to NOT BOTHER ME!!!

**I've decided that Itachi is officially banned from the note-passing, even if he has a good point about the talking thing. Unless we can get him drunk again….**

_**I second that (once again) and strongly second the getting him drunk part. That was fun…. –is remembering-**_

_Ooh! Ooh! Tell Tobi! Please!_

_**Um… Zetsu, he's your friend, you can tell him.**_

_I don't think that would be a good idea Tobi. Maybe another time._

_Okay, Sempai! Tobi is a good boy and listens to orders._

**Wow. That was both mentally scarring and quite perverted sounding at the same time.**

_**Yeah, thanks a lot for letting us all know that one, Hidan.**_

**Well, sorry. Anyway,- wait, what happened to Itachi?!**

-Everyone is just now realizing that after the reminder of his… erm… "night of intoxication" Itachi has passed out, mind overflowing with memories he never wanted to relive (some of it included him on a table doing the Macarena.)-

xXxXxXx

Yes! Done! After only one day, too! Well, what do you think? Yeah… the Macarena part was kind of random, I admit, but I needed some random dance that Itachi would _**NEVER**_ do sober, rather die (well, I guess that covers just about all dancing, but a waltz didn't seem as appropriate) than be seen doing, and that was the first thing that came to mind. Maybe next time he gets drunk he'll do the tango will Kakuzu or something like that, but we'll see….

REVIEW!!!! Review, please. Ideas are also welcome. Actually, anything you could give me that would help the story would be nice. I'll update as soon as I can (possibly later this week), but having 4 stories going at once (and having a similar update date for them also) isn't exactly easy.

Review!

Emo Puffball

XP


	2. Author's Note

Yeah, I know might sound kinda weird, but I think it's time to make this necessary, don't you? I'm ashamed to say that I've totally run out of ideas. I have about a third of a chapter, but I'd really like some help from you, if you don't mind. You will get full credit and a great big pat on the back. Or you can give me an idea and I'll write it out myself. You'll still get full credit, but I'll tell everyone I wrote it… unless you want credit, of course.

You can PM it to me, put it in a review, or put it in another story's review. I'd really appreciate it if you help me with this!

Thanks,

Me


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